Trigger warning: visuals of violence with a knife.
Keep your head down.
Keep your head down.
Don’t look up.
Breathe.
Keep your head down.
Breathe.
Don’t forget to breathe.
Don’t look up.
Step to the side.
Bow low.
Keep your head down.
Breathe.
Don’t look up.
Don’t forget to breathe.
Keep your head down.
Your existence is not secure here.
Your existence is not secure here.
Keep your head down.
Don’t look up.
Breathe.
~
"Is everything alright, my queen?"
"Yes... just... a nightmare."
"As you say; his majesty wishes to see you when you've roused. Do you need me for anything else?"
"Nay, you're dismissed."
~
"Gee, Rob, you're paler than a ghost and shakin' like a cricket's leg. One of them night-terrors?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, probably. Sorry for waking you."
"Nah, don't worry about it. If you're havin' trouble sleepin' you can always just... do what... what..."
"...Goodnight, Jake."
~
Robert snapped back into the present as Professor Luken looked at him expectantly. “Sorry, Professor. I had another dream last night.”
“Oh?” Professor Luken adjusted himself across the snowy courtyard. “Take your stance, Robert.”
Robert nodded, adjusting his feet and rolling his shoulders. “Yes, sir. It was about spirits again. The same ones, actually, as the other dream I told you about.”
Professor Luken summoned his magical pool with his hands. “I see. Was it the same dream?”
Robert mimicked Professor Luken’s stance. “No, sir, and I think that’s why I’m so out of it today.”
“Intriguing. Care to share your thoughts?” Professor Luken sent the first strike at him that dissolved into Robert’s shield. “Impressive, as always, Robert. Your wards continue to improve greatly!”
“Thank you, Professor.” Robert smiled half-heartedly at the praise. They’d been going at this for two months, three times a week since their first meeting together. Professor Luken insisted on training Robert, himself. Normally Robert would’ve been beaming at the praise, but his mind was just too preoccupied. “The dream feels so much more fragile than the other dream. Almost like it’s not real? Or it hasn’t happened yet?”
“Well, Robert, your other dream was much like a memory, wasn’t it?” Professor Luken asked, sending another strike that nearly broke through Robert’s shield.
Robert adjusted his stance and ward before nodding. “Yes, sir, it certainly felt like it. The other dream was always consistent and fluid - like walking through a memory. This new dream though…” He paused as another strike hit his shield and broke it. His hands recoiled as the shock traveled up into his forearms. He stared at the snow beneath his feet, catching his breath. “It felt a lot more chaotic? Like I was fading in and out of it, kind of like erratically… breathing.” Gasping, more like.
Don’t forget to breathe.
Robert rubbed his face with the back of his hand.
“And?” Professor Luken had relaxed his stance, eyeing Robert curiously.
“The spirits were there at the end. The same two I always see. The light one - which I’ve told you about, I know I’ve met her before - and the dark one.” The dark one always felt very familiar to Robert, but he couldn’t recall ever seeing him before.
That was the troubling part of it, but the light spirit in his dreams was never without this dark spirit.
“What were they doing in this dream?” Professor Luken approached him, giving up the half attempt at a magic lesson they had been trying.
“They…” Robert swallowed, “they stabbed a woman.”
This caused Professor Luken to look confused. “Stabbed, you say?”
Robert nodded numbly. “Yes.” He took in a careful breath before shaking his head of the image. “I couldn’t see the woman clearly, but I knew she was there.”
“That sounds… strange.” Professor Luken pursued his lips, concern in his confident voice. “Have you ever seen someone get stabbed, Robert?”
“No, sir.” Robert resisted a yawn. He hadn’t been able to fall back asleep after that dream, despite trying to. He almost wished he could have Jacob’s ability to sleep like a rock through anything.
“Hm, so it’s not like you were drawing from personal experience on that… Curious.” Professor Luken stared off into the distance, lost in the same thought Robert had been stuck on.
“Exactly.” Robert kicked some of the snow around with his snow boots. Abigail had sent them for him, just as she sent him weekly letters, same as Jacob. It helped him feel less alone in the world, but he had to admit, there were still some very difficult days. Especially as Saturnalia dawned closer and closer.
“Do you have any hypotheses regarding your dream?” The professor nudged.
This caused Robert to look up, Professor Luken always wanted to figure out how Robert’s thought process worked. Robert could tell, yet it seemed like harmless curiosity. Abigail had given him a friendly warning to ‘not let them smart folks treat ya like an information cow’ in one of her letters after Robert mentioned Professor Luken had taken him on one-on-one, asking all kinds of questions on what he’s seen and done. Part of Robert was a bit afraid that Mama was right about that.
“The only thing I seem to know with certainty is that the spirits were trying to help her.” Robert murmured. “They weren’t trying to kill her, they were just… helping.”
Professor Luken made a face. “Helping? By stabbing? Kind of absurd in a way that only dreams can be.” He patted Robert on the shoulder in a friendly way. “I know dreams like that used to rattle me a lot when I was your age, but try to not worry about it. If it’s got something important to tell you - it would’ve already told you.”
Professor Luken began to walk towards the inside of the Academy, motioning Robert to come with him. “Let’s head inside. It’s too cold to be out talking in this weather, and you’re far too tired to continue letting me whip you around with magic training to a beneficial degree.”
Robert looked out at the overcast skies before making his slow walk for the foyer. “Do you think it means anything, professor?” He prodded right back.
Professor Luken gave him his token grin. “My boy, dreams always mean something if you want them to.”
~
“-and right here is the courtyard, you know these statues are not the originals that were in the Academy? No the war came through and actually bombed a significant portion of the outer shell-”
“-thanks to the magic of the professors and the great Lord Aadish, however, none of the students were harmed. We began reconstruction and after the war of 801 things resumed as normal. It’s been smooth ever since, and I actually quite prefer the new statues in the courtyard!”
“Though, I must admit it’s hard to see with all this snow! The students will also be letting out soon for Saturnalia break, funny you should join us so close to the end of the quarter, Ms. Jane.”
“Yeah, that’s what happens when your birthday is next to Saturnalia… it all gets smashed into one.”
“Ha-ha! That’s interesting, Ms. Jane! I’m afraid this is where I leave you. Here is your key; your room is 402. Your roommate’s name is Artis and your mentor’s name is Chrysanthemum. Your schedule will be found in your room on your bed along with the items you brought to our office. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask your student mentor or your advisor.”
“I’m sure you’ll love it here, Ms. Jane! Have a wonderful day and I look forward to seeing you in a few years when you graduate!”
“Thanks…-”
“-Ms…-”
“-Robot.”
“Now… where would all the fun stuff be at?”
“Though, I must admit it’s hard to see with all this snow! The students will also be letting out soon for Saturnalia break, funny you should join us so close to the end of the quarter, Ms. Jane.”
“Yeah, that’s what happens when your birthday is next to Saturnalia… it all gets smashed into one.”
“Ha-ha! That’s interesting, Ms. Jane! I’m afraid this is where I leave you. Here is your key; your room is 402. Your roommate’s name is Artis and your mentor’s name is Chrysanthemum. Your schedule will be found in your room on your bed along with the items you brought to our office. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask your student mentor or your advisor.”
“I’m sure you’ll love it here, Ms. Jane! Have a wonderful day and I look forward to seeing you in a few years when you graduate!”
“Thanks…-”
“-Ms…-”
“-Robot.”
“Now… where would all the fun stuff be at?”
~
“See you later, Stefan!”
“Yeah, see you!” Stefan waved as he made his way to the kitchen.
Clean-up duty. Ugh.
For a place with a history of magic, and the namesake of one of the gods… one would think clean-up duty wouldn’t need to be done by the students.
“‘It builds character...’ pfft, yeah right.” Stefan grumbled as he tossed a plate into the sink. It wasn’t fair. This chore cycle had him and Sam on separate chores. The cruelty of it all!
He eyed the garbage bins and groaned, knowing he’d have to drag those bags outside. Maybe if he lamented loud enough, Sam might hear him and come save him?
The last time he did that Isidore glared at him so hard Stefan could feel his imminent death. As such, Stefan chose life, and after he sluggishly put on his jacket he wandered over to the trash bin to take it out in silence.
Stefan slumped the can's lid down and dusted off his hands.
There it was.
The door to the pit.
He wasn’t going to leave his post, was he?
One quick look couldn’t hurt, right?
Stefan rationalized it easily, he had to have some way to cope with his loss of Sam for this chore cycle.
He slid up the steps gracefully.
One circle ‘round the pit to sate his mischief and-
Her.
“Yeah, see you!” Stefan waved as he made his way to the kitchen.
Clean-up duty. Ugh.
For a place with a history of magic, and the namesake of one of the gods… one would think clean-up duty wouldn’t need to be done by the students.
“‘It builds character...’ pfft, yeah right.” Stefan grumbled as he tossed a plate into the sink. It wasn’t fair. This chore cycle had him and Sam on separate chores. The cruelty of it all!
He eyed the garbage bins and groaned, knowing he’d have to drag those bags outside. Maybe if he lamented loud enough, Sam might hear him and come save him?
The last time he did that Isidore glared at him so hard Stefan could feel his imminent death. As such, Stefan chose life, and after he sluggishly put on his jacket he wandered over to the trash bin to take it out in silence.
Stefan slumped the can's lid down and dusted off his hands.
There it was.
The door to the pit.
He wasn’t going to leave his post, was he?
One quick look couldn’t hurt, right?
Stefan rationalized it easily, he had to have some way to cope with his loss of Sam for this chore cycle.
He slid up the steps gracefully.
One circle ‘round the pit to sate his mischief and-
Her.
The world screeched to a sudden halt. What was oxygen? Who needed that? He watched her move as if in slow motion, absorbing the shifts she made and imprinting them to his memories. There was a soft upturn of her lips as her smile grew. "H-Hi there!" Her voice hesitated at first before she found confident footing. "My name is Hesper Jane! I... I'm new here?"
He couldn't even formulate a response, he was too busy watching the way her lips moved, and the way her eyebrows cinched just slightly with a hint of nervousness.
It was like being hit by a train. Is that why they call it 'struck?'
Her feet that had been carefully perched on the lower portion of the fence shifted and slipped as she lost her footing.
The world had always been slow for someone like him, but it was even slower now. His feet covered distance in time with the beating of his own heart.
He had caught the fabric of her jacket and used it to steady her back onto the solid ground, preventing her from falling forward.
Time sped back up.
"Are you alright?" Stefan's voice came out hoarse and he cleared his throat as he spared the pit a glimpse. Yet like a magnet he was drawn right back to her face.
Saying she was surprised was an understatement.
"I think so." She breathed, her eyes wide and searching. After a moment she laughed nervously, stepping back and dusting off her jacket. "I was almost eaten. How did you get over here so quickly?"
Stefan felt a grin tugging on his lips as he stared.
She asked him something.
Right. Answer. Words. "I... I ran... with my legs." What an exceptional execution, he cringed at his own response. Come on, be smooth.
She laughed brightly. "Well I'm glad you didn't have to resort to using your arms!"
That made him laugh. His stomach was twisting up into knots. "I...can't even do a handstand so I might be S-O-L if that's the case."
"I-I don't think I can, either..." She looked down, flustered, before her eyes darted back up and she beamed. "Do you have a name? Uhm, I mean, you do, uh-"
His eyes widened for a moment. That's right, she said her name was Hesper.
Hesper Jane.
Hesper wanted to know his name.
Did he even know his name?
It's in here somewhere!
"I...uh.. Yes! Yes, I do! I do... have a name. It's... a great name-!"
"-and I will tell you it... when I remember it."
"Ste-fan! If you're hiding in here Isidore is gonna-" The door swung open, causing them both to jump.
"-oh..."
~
Professor Clemence carefully sat a book down in front of Robert before placing one down in front of her own usual setup. It technically wasn’t his assigned chore this fortnight to help with book cataloging, but the professor would never turn down his help. He was the only student who had the patience to help with the book maintenance, and for him it was a relaxing way to work through the things that churned in his mind.
“These are a century old, so fairly new in the grand scheme of things, but they still need basic repair.” She spoke levelly as she looked hers over.
“This one has…” Robert stopped as he looked at the inside of the book, “...spine damage - is that glue seeping out?”
The professor examined it with a grimace. “Ugh, they got lazy and used too much. Looks like that one is in far worse shape than I realized. I'll have to rebind it, here, we can trade so you can work on this one instead.”
“Actually, professor, could I give it a shot?” Robert’s fingers brushed over the pages as he spoke. “I haven't yet learned how to rebind a book.”
The professor smiled. “It's a useful skill, most find it too tedious which results in…” She pointed to the binding, “-lazy methods to get around it.” She motioned him over. “The first thing we have to do is cut out the tracks of thread currently holding the book together.” She pointed to the inside of book before taking her scalpel and cutting the few threads there with precision. “You see how there are little booklets within this book? We’ll cut the threads at the very center of them and gently tug to remove them.”
The small folds of paper came almost cleanly from the book, yet got caught on some of the glue and the professor heaved a sigh. Robert reached over and carefully wiggled the edge of the pages until they came loose before setting them aside.
Professor Clemence beamed, “you’re a natural. Do you feel confident to carry on?”
He nodded and had already begun turning to the next booklet to pull out. The professor watched him with keen eyes as he carefully cut through each string that bound it to the cover and pulled the next booklet free. Seeming satisfied, she turned and began to work on the book in front of her, taking up a quill to work on fixing the faded calligraphy.
There was a calm silence that enveloped them, likely because the professor was waiting for him to drive the conversation. It wasn’t to pressure him, however, as Professor Clemence had grown to be the only teacher Robert felt comfortable confiding in.
It had been the week after Robert had really contemplated taking that cyanide pill and Jacob stopped him when his fortnightly chore list had rolled in for book cataloging. The task was repetitive and soothing, so when his mind would go to dark places he would find himself back in the library - organizing and cataloging. Professor Clemence found him there one night just shy of midnight and asked him if he would help her with some calligraphy she was struggling to get right.
He had half expected her to scold him for being up so late on a school night, but she didn’t.
It hadn’t taken long before he cracked, breaking into tears and ruining some of the book he had been working on. She hadn’t been upset, though; she had told him that people were far more important than books when he tried to apologize.
Professor Clemence had nudged him gently to talk and it had all come rushing out - absolutely everything.
Even the cyanide.
Robert had expected repercussions for his actions, and he got them - just in a different form than what he originally braced for. Professor Clemence now made a point to check on him at least once a week - or more, if she caught wind of something negative outcropping in his life. Sam and Stefan always teased him for having a professor ‘breathing down his neck,’ but neither of them knew the whole truth.
The truth was, he found it comforting. Someone actually cared; a lot of people did. It was nice reminder for him.
“How’s your science studies?” She broke the silence after she finished the first line within her book.
Robert grimaced as he cut through another set of strings. “Not that great,” he answered honestly. “Professor Luken has such a busy schedule, and some of his only free time opens up towards the middle of my class, so I’m always missing out on the lessons.”
Professor Clemence made a face, yet hadn’t looked up from her book, she waited for him to continue.
“These are a century old, so fairly new in the grand scheme of things, but they still need basic repair.” She spoke levelly as she looked hers over.
“This one has…” Robert stopped as he looked at the inside of the book, “...spine damage - is that glue seeping out?”
The professor examined it with a grimace. “Ugh, they got lazy and used too much. Looks like that one is in far worse shape than I realized. I'll have to rebind it, here, we can trade so you can work on this one instead.”
“Actually, professor, could I give it a shot?” Robert’s fingers brushed over the pages as he spoke. “I haven't yet learned how to rebind a book.”
The professor smiled. “It's a useful skill, most find it too tedious which results in…” She pointed to the binding, “-lazy methods to get around it.” She motioned him over. “The first thing we have to do is cut out the tracks of thread currently holding the book together.” She pointed to the inside of book before taking her scalpel and cutting the few threads there with precision. “You see how there are little booklets within this book? We’ll cut the threads at the very center of them and gently tug to remove them.”
The small folds of paper came almost cleanly from the book, yet got caught on some of the glue and the professor heaved a sigh. Robert reached over and carefully wiggled the edge of the pages until they came loose before setting them aside.
Professor Clemence beamed, “you’re a natural. Do you feel confident to carry on?”
He nodded and had already begun turning to the next booklet to pull out. The professor watched him with keen eyes as he carefully cut through each string that bound it to the cover and pulled the next booklet free. Seeming satisfied, she turned and began to work on the book in front of her, taking up a quill to work on fixing the faded calligraphy.
There was a calm silence that enveloped them, likely because the professor was waiting for him to drive the conversation. It wasn’t to pressure him, however, as Professor Clemence had grown to be the only teacher Robert felt comfortable confiding in.
It had been the week after Robert had really contemplated taking that cyanide pill and Jacob stopped him when his fortnightly chore list had rolled in for book cataloging. The task was repetitive and soothing, so when his mind would go to dark places he would find himself back in the library - organizing and cataloging. Professor Clemence found him there one night just shy of midnight and asked him if he would help her with some calligraphy she was struggling to get right.
He had half expected her to scold him for being up so late on a school night, but she didn’t.
It hadn’t taken long before he cracked, breaking into tears and ruining some of the book he had been working on. She hadn’t been upset, though; she had told him that people were far more important than books when he tried to apologize.
Professor Clemence had nudged him gently to talk and it had all come rushing out - absolutely everything.
Even the cyanide.
Robert had expected repercussions for his actions, and he got them - just in a different form than what he originally braced for. Professor Clemence now made a point to check on him at least once a week - or more, if she caught wind of something negative outcropping in his life. Sam and Stefan always teased him for having a professor ‘breathing down his neck,’ but neither of them knew the whole truth.
The truth was, he found it comforting. Someone actually cared; a lot of people did. It was nice reminder for him.
“How’s your science studies?” She broke the silence after she finished the first line within her book.
Robert grimaced as he cut through another set of strings. “Not that great,” he answered honestly. “Professor Luken has such a busy schedule, and some of his only free time opens up towards the middle of my class, so I’m always missing out on the lessons.”
Professor Clemence made a face, yet hadn’t looked up from her book, she waited for him to continue.
“I mean, I am grateful he’s willing to teach me magic so soon into coming here, as I heard that’s a thing reserved for older students usually, and he has given me these potions to help me keep up with my studies-”
“Potions?” She looked up sharply, her quill coming to an immediate stop.
Robert nodded, “they’ve been really helpful. I don’t really know what they do, but I took my last quiz and actually passed. It was like the information was all… already there, even though I hadn’t had time to read the book. I thought my head would explode when I drank it, though.”
The professor’s brow was furrowed and she looked forward with thought.
“Is… it… a bad thing?” He gently probed. He hadn’t really thought much about whether or not what he was consuming would be good for him. Professor Luken was very smart and capable, but he also felt… too sure. Arrogant? Arrogant enough to not think things through. Professor Clemence wasn't that way, though, he trusted her word.
Professor Clemence took in a deep breath, chewing on her cheek before she shook her head slowly. “They’re Sivial Potions - potions of specific knowledge. Did he tell you how to take these potions, at least?”
Robert looked down at the half-undone book in front of him as he tried to recall the specific directions given. “He said to take the whole vial all at once - to never leave one unfinished. Something about the information not settling correctly…? Uh…” It was shameful that he couldn’t remember, but Professor Luken talked so fast sometimes; keeping up was difficult.
Professor Clemence had pulled out a sheet of paper before dipping her quill into her ink pot. “Yes, that’s very important, Robert. It’s important to take Sivial Potions all at once because leaving anything in the vial has a potential to create a horrible dissonance, and in some of the worst cases has caused complete memory fragmentation. That’s why I want you to be very careful with these. Always double your water intake the day you take it, these potions have a tendency to dehydrate, and most importantly is take it before you eat. Taking it after can upset the stomach, and it’s always best to give the body nutrition after a potion to ensure no adverse effects.” She had written out the instructions as she spoke before passing it across the table to him.
It was a relief to have it in writing, but the thought of taking one of those again after hearing the risks suddenly made him feel uneasy about the two he still had remaining in his dresser.
The professor touched his arm gently. “Always remember, though, you do not have to take anything you don't want to take, Robert. Do you have any more of those potions?”
“I have two left.” He confessed, slumping back into his seat. “I just don’t want to fall behind again.”
“That’s something I understand very well.” She nodded, “when do you plan to take the next one? Why don’t you stop by and I can help make sure you’re safe when you do? I’ll feel better about it, and hopefully you will, too.”
Robert nodded with a soft smile. “I’d appreciate that. I was already a bit spooked the first time I took one. It gave me a really bad headache.”
One knock.
Two knocks.
The door swung open. “ROB-!” Sam stopped mid-sentence and cleared his throat. “Oh, hey Professor C! Rob, we have a major crisis!”
The professor laughed to herself with a roll of her eyes as she resumed her work. “Hello, Samuel. What did you drop into the pit this time? ...And do I dare ask where your partner in crime is?”
Sam shrugged sheepishly, “believe it or not, this emergency has nought to do with the pit!” His voice dropped low as he looked towards Robert with an intense gaze. “It’s her. That girl.”
Robert’s brow furrowed. “Girl? What girl?”
Sam ‘shhed’ him hastily. “You know, the one Chrys warned us about? The Link thing?”
Robert grinned, suddenly getting it. “His soulmate?”
Sam nodded furiously. “Her name is Hesper. Steffy can’t even string two words together! You have to come see!”
Robert gave Professor Clemence a brief look and she nodded at him. “Go on, dear. This ol’ book won’t go anywhere, I assure you.”
“Thank you, Professor.” Robert bowed his head towards her before standing, pushing his chair in, and rushing out of the door with Sam.
“Potions?” She looked up sharply, her quill coming to an immediate stop.
Robert nodded, “they’ve been really helpful. I don’t really know what they do, but I took my last quiz and actually passed. It was like the information was all… already there, even though I hadn’t had time to read the book. I thought my head would explode when I drank it, though.”
The professor’s brow was furrowed and she looked forward with thought.
“Is… it… a bad thing?” He gently probed. He hadn’t really thought much about whether or not what he was consuming would be good for him. Professor Luken was very smart and capable, but he also felt… too sure. Arrogant? Arrogant enough to not think things through. Professor Clemence wasn't that way, though, he trusted her word.
Professor Clemence took in a deep breath, chewing on her cheek before she shook her head slowly. “They’re Sivial Potions - potions of specific knowledge. Did he tell you how to take these potions, at least?”
Robert looked down at the half-undone book in front of him as he tried to recall the specific directions given. “He said to take the whole vial all at once - to never leave one unfinished. Something about the information not settling correctly…? Uh…” It was shameful that he couldn’t remember, but Professor Luken talked so fast sometimes; keeping up was difficult.
Professor Clemence had pulled out a sheet of paper before dipping her quill into her ink pot. “Yes, that’s very important, Robert. It’s important to take Sivial Potions all at once because leaving anything in the vial has a potential to create a horrible dissonance, and in some of the worst cases has caused complete memory fragmentation. That’s why I want you to be very careful with these. Always double your water intake the day you take it, these potions have a tendency to dehydrate, and most importantly is take it before you eat. Taking it after can upset the stomach, and it’s always best to give the body nutrition after a potion to ensure no adverse effects.” She had written out the instructions as she spoke before passing it across the table to him.
It was a relief to have it in writing, but the thought of taking one of those again after hearing the risks suddenly made him feel uneasy about the two he still had remaining in his dresser.
The professor touched his arm gently. “Always remember, though, you do not have to take anything you don't want to take, Robert. Do you have any more of those potions?”
“I have two left.” He confessed, slumping back into his seat. “I just don’t want to fall behind again.”
“That’s something I understand very well.” She nodded, “when do you plan to take the next one? Why don’t you stop by and I can help make sure you’re safe when you do? I’ll feel better about it, and hopefully you will, too.”
Robert nodded with a soft smile. “I’d appreciate that. I was already a bit spooked the first time I took one. It gave me a really bad headache.”
One knock.
Two knocks.
The door swung open. “ROB-!” Sam stopped mid-sentence and cleared his throat. “Oh, hey Professor C! Rob, we have a major crisis!”
The professor laughed to herself with a roll of her eyes as she resumed her work. “Hello, Samuel. What did you drop into the pit this time? ...And do I dare ask where your partner in crime is?”
Sam shrugged sheepishly, “believe it or not, this emergency has nought to do with the pit!” His voice dropped low as he looked towards Robert with an intense gaze. “It’s her. That girl.”
Robert’s brow furrowed. “Girl? What girl?”
Sam ‘shhed’ him hastily. “You know, the one Chrys warned us about? The Link thing?”
Robert grinned, suddenly getting it. “His soulmate?”
Sam nodded furiously. “Her name is Hesper. Steffy can’t even string two words together! You have to come see!”
Robert gave Professor Clemence a brief look and she nodded at him. “Go on, dear. This ol’ book won’t go anywhere, I assure you.”
“Thank you, Professor.” Robert bowed his head towards her before standing, pushing his chair in, and rushing out of the door with Sam.
~
The door swung shut behind Lucille Clemence and she narrowed her eyes at her target.
Professor Luken shifted in his seat, catching a glimpse of her then smiling with an innocent grin. “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”
“Sivial Potions? Really?” She crossed her arms and doubled down on her stare.
“Yes, I use them all the time, you’ve never once stopped me before on this matter, so I take it there’s something else afoot?” The professor carelessly tossed the book he was reading to the side and it floated back into its spot on the bookshelf - another thing that irked her about him.
She scowled. “Yes, and you’re not a sixteen-year-old child, Luken.”
This made him sit up in his seat and he sucked in on his lips. “Oof, I really am in trouble, is this about Robert?”
Lucille wanted to throw her hands up in frustration. “You just don’t care, do you? I cannot believe you! You are far too old to be pulling this crap and you know it!”
Luken’s eyes widened and he held up a hand as if to calm her, “Lucille…”
“No! Don’t you ‘Lucille’ me! Tell me, do you know Robert’s favorite book? Or how about his favorite food? Do you know what he’s allergic to? I bet you don’t even know that his mother died not two weeks before he came here, do you?”
Luken was silent.
“I know you’re looking this up now in that filing cabinet of a head you keep… pitiful.” She shook her head with venom in her voice as she moved to turn her back to him.
“Lucille-” He stood up from his desk. “It’s not like that! I swear to you-”
“Then why did you give him SIVIAL potions? Do you not know how stupid and dangerous that is?!” Lucille tore into him.
“Because Robert is a genius! He doesn’t need to worry about something trivial like a pop-quiz in science! His mind works above that level! I just wanted to give the boy some peace of mind so he could breathe a little easier.” There was something genuine in his voice that she recognized and it slowed her.
Her weary eyes fell back on him. “So you gave him Sivial potions?” It wasn’t an accusation, but more of a defeated requestioning.
“Yes, perhaps it wasn’t my wisest decision, but Robert is extremely smart! I trusted him to use them wisely and he has. I understand why you’re upset, it was definitely a risky move-”
Lucille cut him off, her rage returning. “You just don’t get it, do you?”
Luken stared at her, stunned.
“He’s just some tool to you, isn’t he?”
“It’s nothing like that-” His voice grew deeper and more severe.
“Just like you did to me - only I was old enough. I knew what I was getting into. I had accepted that was the only way I could be near you but I will not see you treat that boy this way.”
“Lucille!” His voice was harsh at first and finally lowered into defeat and he appeared in front of her. “Lucille… I’m not the same man I was back then… I’m different now!”
He reached for her hands but she clenched hers into fists, tears brimming in her eyes. “I really wish I could believe that, Luken.”
“You can, Lucy.” Luken pulled her hands up in front of him. “My interest in Robert isn’t to utilize his knowledge… he’s the one! He’s my prodigy! I felt it as soon as I met him!”
Any softness Lucille had felt suddenly dissipated and she snatched her hands away with a tearful glare. “Unbelievable!” She hissed. “You really have no idea how you sound, do you? Can you even hear yourself? Ridiculous!” She turned abruptly from him, hoping that by putting her back between them that it might help her resist his charm better. She’d fallen for this lie far too many times.
“Lucille!”
She clenched her fists and spun back around to get back into it with him. “It’s always about your job, isn’t it? That’s all you ever care about! It’s taken over every aspect of your life! Hell, it even ruined our marriage! Yet you STILL don’t see it, do you? You’re walking all over Robert in the same way you did me and everyone else who was in your life that you claimed to care about! It ends here, Luken.”
Luken was shaking his head before he appeared back by his desk, pressing his weight into it. “What would you do, then, Lucille? Be me for a minute, what do you do? It’s not like I can just quit my job, you know it doesn’t work that way. The circles... they would destroy everything. So tell me, what should I do?” He threw his hands off to the side in exasperation. “It’s so easy for you to blame me, but you’ve never tried to be me. You’ll tell me how I screw everything up but you won’t tell me what I’m supposed to do - so tell me, Lucille, what do I do?”
Lucille was shaking her head, none of this was fair - for either of them, but she couldn’t let it rest. “Robert is a child. He is not some puzzle that you need to unlock. He’s a boy. His future should not be predetermined for him!”
“I don’t disagree.”
His soft voice caught her off guard - she had expected a retaliation. She met his gaze and found Luken vulnerable. “Wh-What?”
“So what should I be doing instead?” He adjusted himself and continued, “Robert is a genius child who will grow into one of the brightest minds this world has ever seen. He’ll step into that whenever he’s ready, but the knowledge circles will eat him alive if I don’t help him into it.”
Whatever anger that was left deflated at his comment and she slowly put two and two together. “...just like they ate you.”
He nodded. “It’s… it’s too late for me, unfortunately, but it’s not for him. He doesn’t have to make my mistakes. I’ve already made them for him - so he can be smarter than I ever was.”
She resisted an airy laugh as she was suddenly reminded of why she married him in the first place. “Invest in him, then.”
“I have-”
She held her hand up to cut him off sharply. “Invest in him as a whole person - not just for his mind. Go slower. Be patient. Let him have his childhood, he’s already had enough taken from him.” Her face softened and she smiled. “He reminds me of you at that age.”
Luken rolled his eyes as his face relaxed into a smile. “Oh please, I was an idiot at his age.”
Lucille laughed, shaking her head. “Well, I wouldn’t have used that term specifically…”
They both laughed.
Yet the laughter died down and Lucille was standing in the same room as her ex-husband, keenly aware that he was her ex for a reason. Perhaps he had changed? Gods, how many times had she wanted to believe that, though? More than she could count. “I’ll see myself out-”
“Lucille, wait.”
She felt like she weighed at least a thousand pounds as she stopped in front of the door.
“I love you.”
There it was. She swallowed and stared at her wrists that were held firmly in front of her. Every second she sat on those words the deeper they cut into her. “I… should go.”
“Have you truly lost all of your love for me?”
Lucille’s breath shook as she let it out, her eyes blurring over and she hastily wiped at her face. Her voice was so hard to find amidst all the emotional wreckage. She weakly tipped her head to see his face falling as her silence wounded him more than his words had ever hurt her.
Finally, she gasped. “You know I haven’t. I wouldn’t be here if I had.” She tried to steady her breathing yet it was proving to be too difficult a task. “Why do things have to be this way?”
“They don’t have to be this way…” Luken walked towards her, his normally confident footing full of hesitation and anxiety. “We don’t have to be this way. Things can be different. I can be different… if you’ll only let me try?”
He had told her he would change before, yet this time felt more sincere. This time… he already had changed, at least a little. She knew she shouldn’t consider it, but it wasn’t her logic at the helm. No, all she could see was the softness in his eyes and how much it reminded her of the bright eighteen-year-old boy who botched six book repairs attempting to show off for her.
A parcel exploded into the room vibrantly, drawing her attention suddenly as it chimed. She could see the seal of Lord Aadish pressed into the ribbon around it and all of the hope she had vanished.
Luken struggled to not look back and see what was behind him, but he kept his face on hers. “It can wait…” He tried to tell her, but even his voice didn’t seem certain.
“Can it?” She asked him weakly.
His eyes danced behind him to the parcel and he vanished, reappearing next to it to open it hastily.
Of course it couldn’t.
She turned back to the door, tipping her head slightly as if to excuse herself.
“Lucille, wait!” Luken pleaded with her.
She didn’t turn to look at him this time. “I did wait.” She paused, her hand on the doorknob. “I waited for years.” She took in a breath to steel herself. “Good day, Professor Luken.”
She shut the door behind her as she left, just as she had all those years ago.
It may have been the right decision both then and now, but it didn't stop her from wishing she hadn't.
“Sivial Potions? Really?” She crossed her arms and doubled down on her stare.
“Yes, I use them all the time, you’ve never once stopped me before on this matter, so I take it there’s something else afoot?” The professor carelessly tossed the book he was reading to the side and it floated back into its spot on the bookshelf - another thing that irked her about him.
She scowled. “Yes, and you’re not a sixteen-year-old child, Luken.”
This made him sit up in his seat and he sucked in on his lips. “Oof, I really am in trouble, is this about Robert?”
Lucille wanted to throw her hands up in frustration. “You just don’t care, do you? I cannot believe you! You are far too old to be pulling this crap and you know it!”
Luken’s eyes widened and he held up a hand as if to calm her, “Lucille…”
“No! Don’t you ‘Lucille’ me! Tell me, do you know Robert’s favorite book? Or how about his favorite food? Do you know what he’s allergic to? I bet you don’t even know that his mother died not two weeks before he came here, do you?”
Luken was silent.
“I know you’re looking this up now in that filing cabinet of a head you keep… pitiful.” She shook her head with venom in her voice as she moved to turn her back to him.
“Lucille-” He stood up from his desk. “It’s not like that! I swear to you-”
“Then why did you give him SIVIAL potions? Do you not know how stupid and dangerous that is?!” Lucille tore into him.
“Because Robert is a genius! He doesn’t need to worry about something trivial like a pop-quiz in science! His mind works above that level! I just wanted to give the boy some peace of mind so he could breathe a little easier.” There was something genuine in his voice that she recognized and it slowed her.
Her weary eyes fell back on him. “So you gave him Sivial potions?” It wasn’t an accusation, but more of a defeated requestioning.
“Yes, perhaps it wasn’t my wisest decision, but Robert is extremely smart! I trusted him to use them wisely and he has. I understand why you’re upset, it was definitely a risky move-”
Lucille cut him off, her rage returning. “You just don’t get it, do you?”
Luken stared at her, stunned.
“He’s just some tool to you, isn’t he?”
“It’s nothing like that-” His voice grew deeper and more severe.
“Just like you did to me - only I was old enough. I knew what I was getting into. I had accepted that was the only way I could be near you but I will not see you treat that boy this way.”
“Lucille!” His voice was harsh at first and finally lowered into defeat and he appeared in front of her. “Lucille… I’m not the same man I was back then… I’m different now!”
He reached for her hands but she clenched hers into fists, tears brimming in her eyes. “I really wish I could believe that, Luken.”
“You can, Lucy.” Luken pulled her hands up in front of him. “My interest in Robert isn’t to utilize his knowledge… he’s the one! He’s my prodigy! I felt it as soon as I met him!”
Any softness Lucille had felt suddenly dissipated and she snatched her hands away with a tearful glare. “Unbelievable!” She hissed. “You really have no idea how you sound, do you? Can you even hear yourself? Ridiculous!” She turned abruptly from him, hoping that by putting her back between them that it might help her resist his charm better. She’d fallen for this lie far too many times.
“Lucille!”
She clenched her fists and spun back around to get back into it with him. “It’s always about your job, isn’t it? That’s all you ever care about! It’s taken over every aspect of your life! Hell, it even ruined our marriage! Yet you STILL don’t see it, do you? You’re walking all over Robert in the same way you did me and everyone else who was in your life that you claimed to care about! It ends here, Luken.”
Luken was shaking his head before he appeared back by his desk, pressing his weight into it. “What would you do, then, Lucille? Be me for a minute, what do you do? It’s not like I can just quit my job, you know it doesn’t work that way. The circles... they would destroy everything. So tell me, what should I do?” He threw his hands off to the side in exasperation. “It’s so easy for you to blame me, but you’ve never tried to be me. You’ll tell me how I screw everything up but you won’t tell me what I’m supposed to do - so tell me, Lucille, what do I do?”
Lucille was shaking her head, none of this was fair - for either of them, but she couldn’t let it rest. “Robert is a child. He is not some puzzle that you need to unlock. He’s a boy. His future should not be predetermined for him!”
“I don’t disagree.”
His soft voice caught her off guard - she had expected a retaliation. She met his gaze and found Luken vulnerable. “Wh-What?”
“So what should I be doing instead?” He adjusted himself and continued, “Robert is a genius child who will grow into one of the brightest minds this world has ever seen. He’ll step into that whenever he’s ready, but the knowledge circles will eat him alive if I don’t help him into it.”
Whatever anger that was left deflated at his comment and she slowly put two and two together. “...just like they ate you.”
He nodded. “It’s… it’s too late for me, unfortunately, but it’s not for him. He doesn’t have to make my mistakes. I’ve already made them for him - so he can be smarter than I ever was.”
She resisted an airy laugh as she was suddenly reminded of why she married him in the first place. “Invest in him, then.”
“I have-”
She held her hand up to cut him off sharply. “Invest in him as a whole person - not just for his mind. Go slower. Be patient. Let him have his childhood, he’s already had enough taken from him.” Her face softened and she smiled. “He reminds me of you at that age.”
Luken rolled his eyes as his face relaxed into a smile. “Oh please, I was an idiot at his age.”
Lucille laughed, shaking her head. “Well, I wouldn’t have used that term specifically…”
They both laughed.
Yet the laughter died down and Lucille was standing in the same room as her ex-husband, keenly aware that he was her ex for a reason. Perhaps he had changed? Gods, how many times had she wanted to believe that, though? More than she could count. “I’ll see myself out-”
“Lucille, wait.”
She felt like she weighed at least a thousand pounds as she stopped in front of the door.
“I love you.”
There it was. She swallowed and stared at her wrists that were held firmly in front of her. Every second she sat on those words the deeper they cut into her. “I… should go.”
“Have you truly lost all of your love for me?”
Lucille’s breath shook as she let it out, her eyes blurring over and she hastily wiped at her face. Her voice was so hard to find amidst all the emotional wreckage. She weakly tipped her head to see his face falling as her silence wounded him more than his words had ever hurt her.
Finally, she gasped. “You know I haven’t. I wouldn’t be here if I had.” She tried to steady her breathing yet it was proving to be too difficult a task. “Why do things have to be this way?”
“They don’t have to be this way…” Luken walked towards her, his normally confident footing full of hesitation and anxiety. “We don’t have to be this way. Things can be different. I can be different… if you’ll only let me try?”
He had told her he would change before, yet this time felt more sincere. This time… he already had changed, at least a little. She knew she shouldn’t consider it, but it wasn’t her logic at the helm. No, all she could see was the softness in his eyes and how much it reminded her of the bright eighteen-year-old boy who botched six book repairs attempting to show off for her.
A parcel exploded into the room vibrantly, drawing her attention suddenly as it chimed. She could see the seal of Lord Aadish pressed into the ribbon around it and all of the hope she had vanished.
Luken struggled to not look back and see what was behind him, but he kept his face on hers. “It can wait…” He tried to tell her, but even his voice didn’t seem certain.
“Can it?” She asked him weakly.
His eyes danced behind him to the parcel and he vanished, reappearing next to it to open it hastily.
Of course it couldn’t.
She turned back to the door, tipping her head slightly as if to excuse herself.
“Lucille, wait!” Luken pleaded with her.
She didn’t turn to look at him this time. “I did wait.” She paused, her hand on the doorknob. “I waited for years.” She took in a breath to steel herself. “Good day, Professor Luken.”
She shut the door behind her as she left, just as she had all those years ago.
It may have been the right decision both then and now, but it didn't stop her from wishing she hadn't.
~ Next Chapter ~
Professor Lucille Clemence's character is a slightly altered Loreza Winchester from the Winchester Baby Boom by SomebodysAngel
Also a thanks to Blamsart for being the best friend ever. ❤
Professor Lucille Clemence's character is a slightly altered Loreza Winchester from the Winchester Baby Boom by SomebodysAngel
Also a thanks to Blamsart for being the best friend ever. ❤
SimNaNo Count:
Words: 5,196
Pictures: 132
God that feels really powerful "Don't forget to breathe"
ReplyDeleteLol that does sound weird though, helping by stabbing. But it's ADRIEL AND THERAN, I mean why would they stab some random gal? They don't really seem like the type!
(I love that random gal already you know I do)
oh my god Hesper and Stefan absolutely KILLED ME I can't even
"I RAN....WITH MY LEGS" (wheeeeze) "I DO HAVE A NAME."
They were so precious??? I ship it I SHIP IT, I ship Stefan's incapacity to speak, and Hesper is so darn cute? Like, of course they'd meet at the PIT too lol
Gosh it feels so NICE to know Rob has someone like Clemence looking out for him. Enough to go against Luken straight on. I COMPLETELY AGREE LADY, Luken needs to back offff a bit there.
Also i very strongly smell HISTORY lol
I lovveeeddd the insightts here!
(I RAN....WITH MY LEGS)
godddd hahahah im gonna be wheezing about that meet up for dayysss
It really DOES doesn't it? Lmao I can see armed robberies now, DON'T WORRY OFFICER I'M JUST HELPING *stab stab stab*
DeleteBut nooo, Adriel and Theran are the BEST. They couldn't POSSIBLY be bad, could they?
I love that random gal too, ;) bet you couldn't IMAGINE that. XD Not like she's my character or nuthin'. Heh.
HAHAHAHAHA yes I need to relive this. *goes back up to reread* *comes back rolling with tears and laughter* my precious chiiiiildren! I love every part of them. I didn't expect them to steal my heart so much, but they did. Now I'm stuck on them... <3 I have no regrets.
Yes! I so dig Clemence! I also love that she came with her own little story to tell. My characters always surprise me, I swear it. History you smell, and history there is.
Hehehehehe you and me both! XD
Ooh, mysterious gorgeous female vampire, who has contact with Adriel. I am intrigued! And Robert is dreaming about her, lucky boy!
ReplyDeleteSo glad he’s finally learning about his magic and how to control/use it more. Luken is such a great character, he seems to really get Robert and understand how to not only teach him, but get the best out of him at the same time. Ooh, and I never even saw Theran in the dream pics, but it makes sense, Rob’s right, Adriel is never without him.
More ooh (I feel like I’m saying this a lot this chapter), mysterious new brunette student. Whose lips I’m already in love with. Is that weird? Anyway, they remind me of Nav’s.
Zomg, someone dared to split up Stefan and Sam? Who would be so cavalier with their life?
But he meets the new girl, and it’s his Blood Link girl! Daaaaamn, she is so gorgeous! I’m usually more for light eyes, but those greys are amazing. Do not blame Stefan for being all tongue tied. And lmao, she responds to his crappy line with a laugh. I love her already. LMAO, and then forgetting his name, oh man, that made me laugh out loud. Awww, and Sam finds them. His face ☹
Hee, first appearance of my girl! I love how you dressed her, very appropriate for her personality. Aww, and I love that she’s his confidant. Poor boy needs someone to talk to who has more experience than his friends. And she’s keeping tabs on him, making sure he’s okay. Man, I love her already. And she calls my man Sam by his full name! And she takes on Luken over his risky treatment of Rob. Oh, but they have history and he did the same thing to her, aww, Lucy. *snuggles her* Ooh, not just relationship but marriage? Damn, girl. Interesting that she keeps calling him by his surname, though – what is his first name anyway? Oh man, and the whole emotional upheaval bit, you are pulling at my heartstrings now, Livvie. This bit especially “to see his face falling as her silence wounded him more than his words had ever hurt her.”
Hahah she does INDEED! Plus I dig the low-key Snow-White vibes from her, mhm.
DeleteI love watching him learn to use magic, and I am also very glad for Luken. Robert has never (presented in the story) had a father-figure of any variety, so to me I really like seeing that he has someone he can depend on in that way.
Theran is a tough one to see, but he's definitely there - the mirror picture in the dream pictures is where I would say he sticks out the most, then he helps the woman stab herself.
Yes! My sweet mysterious student! I do see the resemblance with Nav's which probably helps the appreciation of her. ;)
I KNOW! The heinous crime of splitting up Sam/Stefan cannot continue! But at least we get to meet this new girl and appreciate more of her!
INDEED! You made it to my dearest Lucy! She's been such a helpful person in the Academy, I couldn't not show her off a little! Thank you so much for letting me use her, she's been such a treat so far, and I'm excited to see what else she shakes up.
Thank you so much! That means a lot to me, coming from you! You've got such excellent writing, and I know I've got a lot to improve on with mine, so thank you!